Hands Clean
by Yanagi-sen
Summary: Another sequel posted! Years later... what do Brad and Nagi think about what happened? rating upped for implied content
1. Hands Clean

**_Hands Clean_**

By Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz songfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  As usual the characters aren't mine… apparently they aren't Weiss's either… oh well, I'm still using the old character designs so just deal with it… I'm sorry… Omi does NOT look like that… *sigh*  The song's by Alanis Morissette.  Enjoy!

Warnings: implied yaoi (could be borderline shota… but I don't think so, just being safe here)

This fic is dedicated to Ami-chan… see!  I finally sorta did a fic, just for you!

He hadn't seen Brad in nearly three years.  He liked going to college in America, so many more opportunities, but he missed being home.  Schu and Farf had visited him in California, but Brad had never come.  And now… Nagi stood in the doorway, watching the man shuffle papers at his desk, now he wasn't sure what to say to the precog.  He hadn't been this uncertain before.  Back when they…

****

**_~If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened_**

**_If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself_**

**_If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and_**

**_If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much~_**

"Go take care of your bags, then come back down."  The American didn't even look up from his paperwork.

"Okay, Brad."  As he walked away he whispered… 'Tadaima.'

"Oh and Nagi… Okaeri."

The young man smiled as he struggled to maneuver himself and his luggage up the stairway and down the hall.  The door to his room was open.  He stood in the entry and looked around.  Everything was just as he had left it, but not covered in dust the way he had feared.  Farf must have come in to clean.  Nagi gratefully let his bags slide to the floor with a sigh.  He'd had to use his powers to lift them all, he was tired out.  And only some judicious use of telekinesis had kept him from having to pay a fortune in overweight charges.  He fell onto his low bed and stretched.  It was good to be home.  

Groaning slightly, he sat up.  Brad had wanted to see him.  His eyes fell to the picture on the stand beside his bed.  Him and Brad, taken by Schu in some parking garage somewhere.  He was dressed all in black, with a kind of apathetic teenager expression on his face.  And Brad… the man had been dressed casually for a change.  Nagi repressed the lingering warmth he still got when thinking of the gaijin.  He made his way to the bathroom, splashing water on his face, and then going downstairs again.

**_~Ooh this could be messy / But you don't seem to mind_**

**_Ooh don't go telling everybody / And overlook this supposed crime~_**

"How were your finals?"

"They were okay."

"Only 'okay'?"

"They were finals."

"Ah… I understand.  But you did well?"

"I think so."

"I should hope so.  You have a brilliant mind; I'd hate to see you waste it."

Nagi flushed at the unexpected compliment.  "I'm just glad they're over."

"I'm sure.  So what are you going to do now?  Get a job?  Go on to grad school?"

"I don't know yet.  I want to take some time off though.  I've been either in classes or working for three years, I need a break."

"I understand.  And yes, I think you do.  You always did push yourself too hard."

"As hard as you push yourself."

"That's different.  I'm an adult.  I'm supposed to."

"And I was a Japanese school kid, I was supposed to."

They chuckled over the old joke.  "In any case, why don't you go rest for a couple hours?  By then Schu and Farf will be back and we can all go out to dinner."

"Really?  All of us?"

"Farf is doing much better on this new medication, so yes, all four of us."  Nagi smiled and with a slightly tired wave, went back up to his room.

**_~We'll fast forward to a few years later / And no one knows except the both of us_**

**_And I have honored your request for silence / And you've washed your hands clean of this~_**

/I wonder if he remembers… I wonder if he ever thinks about it?/  Nagi lay down folding his arms behind his head.  /He never talks about it… about us… is he ashamed of me?  Did I disappoint him in some way?/  The thoughts circled around in his head until his exhaustion pushed him into sleep.

****

**_~You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me_**

**_You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me_**

**_I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian_**

**_I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it~_**

It was hard seeing Nagi again.  Looking into those midnight blue eyes, that he'd witnessed filled with passion from barely inches away, and not letting on how happy he was to see him again.  There were changes to be sure.  The boy, no he was a young man now, had grown perhaps only a couple inches, but he'd filled out a little and didn't look quite so much like a waif.  He carried himself differently too, there was less of the wounded animal look about him, more of a normal kid.  That bit of self-assurance was still there though, and Brad was proud to know he was the one who had instilled that in the boy.

He sighed and gave up on the paperwork instead staring out the window.  Perhaps it was a mistake to let him come back here.  But when Nagi had called and said he was done a year early and wanted to come home, he couldn't say no.  How could he deny the boy the one home he'd ever really had?  So against his better judgment he'd given his blessing.  

****

**_~Ooh this could get messy / But you don't seem to mind_**

**_Ooh don't go telling everybody / And overlook this supposed crime~_**

He supposed he was ultimately the one to blame for the whole situation.  But he was only human, and fallible, and his powers, while seemingly this wonderful thing to those without them, were just as fallible.  No… he couldn't hide behind that excuse.  He had known what would happen.  He had known… and he'd still gone ahead.  He'd known it was an affair destined for disaster, but he'd been helpless.  Caught… trapped… by a pair of midnight blue eyes that were so haunted, so hurt.  He'd wanted to heal that hurt.  Wanted to sooth those nightmares.  

He'd had good intentions… and they had already been on the road to Hell anyways.

****

**_~We'll fast forward to a few years later / And no one knows except the both of us_**

**_And I have honored your request for silence / And you've washed your hands clean of this~_**

He wasn't sure what prompted him to get up from his desk and the sorely neglected paperwork, but he did.  He walked upstairs, his slippered feet making barely a sound.  The door to Nagi's room was still open.  That was a nice change.  Always before when he'd been home his door had been tightly closed, sometimes even locked, a barrier against the world that had hurt him and he wanted no part of.  Brad liked this new openness from the boy.

He paused at the door, looking in.  Nagi was sprawled out on his bed, head pillowed by his crossed arms.  His eyes were closed, long dark lashes resting on his fair face, lips parted slightly as he breathed.  He leaned against the door frame, watching the boy sleep.  How many times had he done this?  How many times had he peered at the figure on the bed, in varying stages of growth?  He still remembered the first night, watching a tiny child of nine curled up as if afraid of the world.  Then the times he'd watched the boy while lying beside him…

He turned from the door.  It was useless to think such thoughts.  That was the past.  He had to make reservations for dinner.

****

**_~What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?_**

**_What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? _**

**_What with this distance it seems so obvious?~_**

****

Nagi woke up from his dream with a start.  He looked over to the door, but there was no one there.  He stretched and sighed, he'd sworn Brad was watching him like he used to.  But he guessed it had merely been a part of his dream.  He was really too old to have someone guarding his sleep anymore, much as he found comfort in it.  He wasn't a kid.  He was a college graduate, even though he'd opted to just return home rather than go through the ceremony.  He didn't really care for such events.  They mailed the diplomas anyways.

Yawning he sat up and tried to remember which bag had clean clothes in it.  After the flight and the taxi ride and all the standing in lines at the airports, he really needed a shower and fresh clothes.  He fumbled for a bit and then made his way to the bathroom, the house was still quiet, Schu and Farf must not be back yet.

He stood in the shower, letting the spray run over his body.  He sighed, wishing once again that a certain American would join him… but he wouldn't… not anymore.  He wondered a bit how much of what he remembered was truth… and how much had been made up by his mind?

****

**_~Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family_**

**_We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse_**

**_I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly_**

**_I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body~_**

"Yo… Nagi got back okay?"

Brad looked up from his newspaper.  Farf was heading for the counter to put away the groceries they'd gotten.  Schu plopped himself down across from the American.  "Yes… what did you two get?  We have plenty of groceries."

"But not the stuff Nagi likes.  We had to get a few things."  The Irishman stuck a couple boxes of Pocky up on the shelf.

"Ah, I see.  I thought we'd go out to dinner."

"Ooooh… Sakuma's?"  The redhead grinned with glee.

"Of course, it is Nagi's favorite."

"Yes!  I'm gonna go change."  Schu jumped up and left, Farf finished with the groceries and did the same.  Brad turned back to his paper.

/I wonder what they would say?  We never told them, and Schu never found out or he would have said something.  Would they think me wrong for taking advantage of a boy's adoration?  Like I could have said no to him.  He was so pretty… he's still so pretty… he'll never be handsome, he's too small, too delicate for that./  Brad sighed.  He regretted hurting Nagi the way he did… but he didn't regret loving him.  He just wished… wished there had been a way…

****

**_~Ooh this could be messy and / Ooh I don't seem to mind~_**

"Nagi sit with me in the back!"  The young man glanced at Brad, who wasn't looking and then climbed in with Schu.  "So how are you?  How was the flight?  Did you get…"

He answered the redhead's questions mechanically, watching Brad out of the corner of his eye.  He wasn't sure that coming home was a good idea.  But he'd been away so long.  He hadn't seen Brad for years.  He'd missed Japan.  Missed Schu and Farf.  Missed miso and udon and even missed the unagi.

Brad's eyes in the mirror caught his own, and for a moment Nagi was trapped.  Then the brown eyes softened and that warmth that he knew was only for him came through.  It was only for a second, and then Brad's attention turned back to the road and Nagi's turned back to Schu.

****

**_~Ooh don't go telling everybody / And overlook this supposed crime~_**


	2. In Need

**_In Need_**

By Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz songfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  The song used is _In Need_ by Sheryl Crow.  This is the sequel to _Hands Clean, which was originally written for Ami-chan.  She finally read it today, and requested a sequel… which I had intended to do but I hadn't found the right song… before now…_

Warnings: implied yaoi, angst, sap, moments of memory that might be confusing

**_~Every night I dream you're next to me…~_**

Dinner had been wonderful… as it always was at Sakuma's.  It had been so nice to have REAL Japanese food again; his favorite was the miso soup that was a specialty of the restaurant.  And real sashimi… and sushi… not what they called sushi in California.  Not that the stuff there was BAD… it just wasn't quite the same.  Maybe it was the rice and vinegar used.  Whatever it was, it was nice to have what he considered 'real' food again.  They also had grilled fish and tempura and white rice.  It was just wonderful.  And he was old enough to actually have some of the sake without having Schu sneak it to him.

But that had been hours ago.  They had returned right after dinner and after only a little while, Nagi had excused himself.  Jet lag and the other stresses of traveling were catching up with him.  He had changed and crawled into bed, quickly falling asleep.

But now he was awake… awake and thinking and his body just didn't want to settle back down for the sleep he really needed.

So he just lay there, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the man whose room was just down the hall.

**_~Tenderly / You say my name…~_**

He had never really liked his name, the only gift his pathetic excuse for parents had ever given him.  Until Brad used his name.  Maybe it was the tone of the man's voice.  Maybe it was his accent, subtle as was after so many years.  Or maybe it was just the way he said it… 'Nagi'.  

At first it had made him feel secure, cared for.  Then when he got a little older… it made him feel odd… like there was something he wanted… something he needed.  He hadn't fully understood, until one night just after he had turned 17.  When he had heard Brad whisper his name in the dark… like he was the most precious thing in the world.  At that moment he gave everything to the man… his heart, his soul, his love… his body; freely, wanting nothing in return but that feeling that he was special.

Even now… years later… hearing Brad say his name brought everything back, all those feelings…

**_~You stay close enough to keep me here…~_**

He remembered that first time so fondly.  Schu and Farf had been away on a mission.  Nagi had lain in Brad's arms well into the next day, never wanting to leave.  And the American and held him and made him feel cherished and loved.  For the first time in his whole life, he felt as though someone loved him.  He had lain with his head on the man's chest and listened to his breaths, and the steady beat of his heart.  And Brad had run gentle fingers through his hair, then lifted his face and kissed him.  Then the man had rolled him over on to his back and made love to him again.

**_~Then disappear / When we're face to face…~_**

Of course, such things can't last forever.  Eventually they had to rise and dress.  They agreed to pretend around others that what they shared didn't exist.  But late at night… in the dark, Nagi would slip from his bed and ghost down the hall and join Brad.  And they would share the night together before the man woke the small brunette so he could go back down to his room before the dawn.

It had been Nagi's choice, to go to college in America.  Brad had been so happy, encouraging him, helping him work on his English and buy what he would need.  But in private, things were changing between them.  Nagi hadn't been sure what it was… but something had become different.  Until that day… that one gray August day… when Brad had taken him to the airport to board his plane for California.  The American hadn't come in to see him off, apologizing, but saying that he had a meeting he couldn't change.  Nagi understood… there were times when those things happened, and he had never been fond of long goodbyes.  But still, it hurt a little bit to stand on the curb and watch the man… his leader… his lover, drive away, and not look back.

**_~And if you carry me tonight / I would be strong enough to fight…~_**

He hadn't known it would be the last time he would see the man for three years.  Three long, lonely years.  Every break… every holiday… there had always been something going on, some reason why it wouldn't be good for Nagi to come back… some reason why Brad couldn't visit.  The others had come… but hadn't been able to give any explanation.  Schu had just shrugged, unable to come up with any explanation for him.  So for three years, he had spent his vacations alone, or with his 'brothers'… but without the person he considered his lover… even after all this time.  He hadn't taken another while at school, not that he hadn't had offers… from both genders.  But it hadn't felt right.  He hadn't wanted them.  They weren't Brad.

He rolled over in his bed.  Then sat up and fluffed the pillow before lying down again.  He sighed.  Why couldn't he sleep?  He was so tired; he would have thought it would be easy.  But his mind wouldn't settle down, dwelling on images and feelings from the past.

**_~And when you're weak and can't go on / I'd be the bed you lay upon…~_**

Not that they had sex every night they were together.  There were many times when one or the other (usually Nagi) was ill or suffering from injuries or the aftereffects of prolonged use of their gifts.  There were some nights when all they wanted was to cuddle, Nagi held securely in Brad's arms, the American wrapped around his body like he was some type of living pillow.  Sharing warmth, and comfort and affection in simply laying with the other.  Those nights were actually Nagi's favorite.  Not that the sex hadn't been fun… he had been 17… of course the sex was fun.  But just curling up together… that went beyond sex… that was love.

Especially nights when he would wear himself out on a mission, even going so far as to fall asleep in the car. Brad could have just left him in his own bed.  Nagi wouldn't have thought anything of it.  But there were several times when he would wake later in the night… to find himself cradled in his lover's arms, aspirin and water ready for the inevitable headache.  And he had known that Schu had undoubtedly put him in his own bed… but then Brad had gone in and carried him down to his room after the others were asleep.

**_~And blue is blue / And so am I_**

**_Cause I want to be with you tonight / You're not the only one in need…~_**

But what hurt the worst, was that he didn't know why the man had decided to end their relationship.  Sitting up in bed, Nagi stared out the window.  He still wondered what he had done.  What had he done wrong?  He had hoped… in coming home… it would be different.  That he would be welcomed back… back home and back into Brad's life…  He hadn't wanted to sleep alone tonight.

He sighed.  Apparently, nothing had changed.  And he still didn't know why…

**_~You know everybody's watching me / And what they see_**

**_Is me watching you…~_****__**

He remembered being afraid… so afraid… that the others would find out.  He had been worried of what Schu and Farf would think… they were his family… but Brad was his lover… it was different with them.  They were like brothers, older… and annoying at times in the way older siblings often were.  Their approval… their acceptance was very important to him.  And the fear that they wouldn't approve and accept had kept him from telling them.  He had decided to let Brad choose when to tell them.  But he hadn't… and so Nagi too had kept his silence.

But there had always been a lingering fear for him… that they would find him in bed with Brad.  That they would catch him watching the man when he shouldn't have been.  That somehow his mental shields would slip and Schu would realize what was going on.  That was one reason that he had looked for colleges abroad.  But he hadn't thought Brad would abandon him the way he had.

**_~In the middle, time is creeping by / And I wonder why_**

**_You're so removed…~_**

It seemed to Nagi that there two Brads… well actually 'Brad' and 'Crawford'.  'Crawford' was his boss, the leader of Schwarz, the master of the house and family.  'Crawford' was always calm, controlled, the epitome of the confident leader.  That was the person Nagi trusted with his life.  He obeyed 'Crawford' without question, the few times that he hadn't… he had either gotten hurt because of it, or the man took it out of his hide later.  'Crawford' was NOT someone you crossed.  But Nagi respected him.

'Brad'… was a slightly different person.  'Brad' was warmer, almost gentle.  He was the one who bandaged Nagi's wounds, brought him painkillers when he was hurt, made him soup when he was sick, helped him with his homework and let him stay home from school after a late mission.  'Brad' was the one who held him at night.  Nagi gave him his heart without question.  He had never thought 'Brad' would hurt him the way he had.

He hadn't thought 'Brad' was so much like 'Crawford'.  It amazed him how the man could be so detached, so distant… and yet… he loved him so much.

**_~And if you carry me tonight / I would be strong enough to fight…~_**

He finally sighed and pushed the sheets away.  Sliding from the bed, he pulled a tee shirt over his bare chest.  His cotton pajama bottoms were well worn and comfortable, just like the shirt.  He padded silently over to the door and opened it.  The hall was dark, the apartment quiet.  He walked down to the living room and turned the TV on low.  Maybe if he watched something for a while he would be able to fall asleep.

Maybe that was his problem… it was so quiet.  The dorms were ANYTHING but quiet… till around 4 am, especially lately with most of the finals over with.  He was so used to falling asleep to the noise, or the sound of his fan.  He smiled, finding an all-night Gundam Wing Marathon on.  There was just something about watching big robots bashing each other.  Especially when so many things were so… phallic in nature.  He had to stifle his laugh as he watched Duo 'deactivate' Wing's self-destruct… if THAT wasn't suggestive, what was?

He sighed.  Even watching GW again wasn't enough to distract him from the person down the hall.

**_~And when you're weak and can't go on / I'd be the bed you lay upon…~_**

He really wished he could just sit down with the man and get some answers.  If it was really over… irretrievably, he wanted to know.  So he could hopefully get over it and go on.  If it was salvageable… he wanted to know what he could do… what Brad expected out of him.  Oh he knew a few things.  He knew Brad expected him to do what HE wanted with his life, didn't want him tied to the life their former masters had chosen for them.  The American had made a clean break from what they had done before.  He would still take the occasional body guard job, just to stay fit, but no assassinations.  He played on the stock market now, trying NOT to let his powers interfere too much.  He said it ruined the game that way.  

Schu was pursuing a career as a photographer.  It let him set his own hours… stay in bed till noon and still go out at night.  And he got to watch people more, and for a reason.  He was fascinated by people… always had been.  Part of his manipulation of their minds was just his interest in how people worked.  Of course, that fascination also manifested itself in the more cruel things he had done but for now he was content not to commit any more atrocities.  Farf was much the same as he had always been.  Some days were better than others.  When he was okay, he cleaned, he cooked, he watched TV, and he liked to play with the bunnies that lived in a nearby park.  When he wasn't okay… he ranted and raved and if bad enough spent the day restrained and sedated.  Even if he was better with this new medication… he most likely wouldn't be able to live on his own.  Brad had ensured that he would be well cared for… should something happen to the rest of them.  It was the least they could do for him.

But what was he going to do?  He had grown more accustomed to making his own choices.  But a part of him still wanted Brad to tell him what he wanted Nagi to do.  He wanted the American to be proud of him.  He wanted the man to love him… he just wanted him.

**_~And blue is blue / And so am I_**

**_Cause I want to be with you tonight / You're not the only one in need…~_**

Was it really so wrong, he wondered?  At the time, he hadn't thought so.  He could see where others would have seen it differently, that's why he had kept his silence.  But now… now he was a college graduate, a little early true… but an adult.  He could freely choose who to spend his time with.  And if he chose someone a decade older than him… well… it was no one's business but theirs.

But then, would Brad want a lover so much younger than him.  How did Nagi know he hadn't found another by now?  Could that be why the American had never visited and didn't seem as eager to have him home?  It could even be another member of Schwarz.  Schu certainly wouldn't be opposed to the idea.  He'd been flirting with Brad since the first day Nagi had met them.  He would like to think the German would have been honest with him if that had been the case.  Farf was a less likely prospect, but certainly not impossible.  On his good days he could be the most wonderful person.  And Brad seemed to really care for the Irishman's well being.

Then again, who's to say he might not have a lover outside of Schwarz.  They certainly weren't as secretive as they used to be, he might have a relationship.

He sighed… this line of thinking was only depressing him more.

**_~Come on baby / Life is just a net into which you dive…~_**

He pulled his legs up onto the couch, sitting sideways on it and leaning against the corner.  He watched the TV… but what was on the screen just didn't register.  He really didn't know what to do.  Should he take the chance and ask Brad for some answers?  He might hear some things he didn't want to and that could put a big strain on the relationship they had now, and tenuous as it was.  Or should he just keep quiet, wait, and watch, and let the American make the first move?

He propped his chin on his hand and stared gloomily.

**_~And I'm getting / Closer to you now…~_**

Then Brad was there.  He knelt beside the couch, telling him how sorry he was… how he wanted Nagi in his life… how he regretting ending their relationship as he had.  Then Brad kissed him and Nagi once again gave his heart away.  The man pulled him close, wrapping his arms around the young man's back and kissing him thoroughly.  Nagi wound his arms around Brad's neck.

This was what he had longed for, warm arms around him, warm lips on his own, warm breath against his skin.  He was eased back against the cushions as the American nibbled down the column of his neck.  His breathing quickened as his pulse started to race.  Hands slid beneath his shirt, stroking his sides, caressing and warm.

He shifted restlessly, wanting to feel skin on skin… wanting their bared bodies to soak up the warmth of the other.  "Brad…" he moaned…

**_~If I love you / Will you run away…~_**

He woke with a start.

A dream… it had only been a dream.  He curled up, fighting off tears.  Why did his mind have to torment him this way?  It was as if some cosmic force was determined to make him as miserable as possible.  Why?  Why did he have to love the man so much?

**_~And if I stay / Will I disappear…~_**

In another room of the apartment, someone woke.  Brad yawned; he fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand and when they were on, looked at the clock.  It was quite late… or very early, depending on your point of view.  It wasn't unusual for him to wake at odd times.  He usually got up… checked to see that Schu and Farf were in bed, got a drink of water… and then fell back asleep.  Getting up he went out into the hall and was surprised to hear the TV.  It was very low, so whoever was up was aware that everyone was asleep.  It most likely wasn't Farf then, not that he was impolite… but he tended to forget how noise carried at night.

Brad noticed that Nagi's door was open; it had been shut when he had gone to bed.  Peering in, he saw the empty bed.  Since the bathroom was also dark, he had to assume the person in the living room was the boy… young man.

It really was quite shocking to see Nagi after three years.  Schu had told him how the Japanese teen had grown a few centimeters, not that he would come close to their height, a childhood of malnutrition had ensured that.  But he had managed to make about 5 and a half feet and filled out a little bit, not a lot, but he had a lean, sleek appearing body, not quite the fragile frame he'd had before.  College had obviously been good for him.  He seemed much more open, happier… except that he had obviously been looking for something in Brad's face all through dinner.  Something that he hadn't found, since Nagi seemed down once they returned.

**_~And if you carry me tonight / I would be strong enough to fight…~_**

Going into the living room, he started to ask Nagi what he was doing up… when he noticed that the young man had fallen asleep.  The TV was still on, quietly playing one of those mecha anime.  He knelt beside the couch and looked at the brunette.  Nagi had fallen asleep leaning back against the corner of the couch.  His arms were loosely wrapped around his body and his chin had fallen to his chest.

He looked too damn cute.

Shaking his head Brad turned off the TV and started to go to get a blanket, it wouldn't be the first time someone had fallen asleep there and he'd covered them up.  Then he looked at the young man thoughtfully.  He'd have the worst crick in his neck if he slept like that.  Compounding the stiffness he undoubtedly already had from the flight.

Bending down, he easily lifted the smaller man into his arms.  Nagi stirred slightly, then nestled against his chest with a little sigh.  Brad gave into his urge to smile, twenty years old… and still unbearably cute at times.  He headed down the hall.

**_~And when you're weak and can't go on / I'd be the bed you lay upon…~_**

Entering the brunette's room, he crossed to the bed.  He is grateful again for the daily practice he set for himself, and for the slightness of the young man as he was able to gently lay Nagi on the bed, barely disturbing him.  It was harder in fact to remove his arms from beneath the sleeping form.  He drew the sheet up over the telekinetic.

Standing again, he peered down at the sleeper.  He wanted nothing more than to curl up with the young man.  Share a bed as they had before.  He had spent three years convincing himself that it was for the best, that Nagi deserved more, deserved better, needed someone closer to his own age.  Three years… shot to Hell.

**_~And blue is blue / And so am I_**

**_Cause I want to be with you tonight…~_**

Yes… the desire he thought he had put behind him was still there.  He still wanted to take the young man back to his room, put him in his own bed, lay beside him all night… watch him as he woke in the morning… then kiss him and take him into his arms and make love to him.

He sighed and turned to leave.

A mumble from the bed caused him to turn, but Nagi was merely stirring in his sleep, curling up on his side, his favored sleeping position.  Brad couldn't help but smile as one hand came up to curl up next to the young man's cheek, on his pillow.  Back to that unbearably cute thing again.

Stepping back to the bed, he stooped quickly and dropped a gentle kiss on one silken cheek.  Then he left.

**_~And blue is blue / And so are we_**

**_And you're not the only one in need~_**

AN: Again this is for Ami, who adores this pairing and desperately wanted a sequel ASAP!  She said of Hands Clean that it was so great… because it was a Brad/Nagi that actually had a PLOT!  Well… one that didn't involve abuse, beating, rapes, or badly written sex.  Apparently well-written, non-PWP, Brad/Nagi fics are rare… I have to admit I haven't seen too many…  So there you go Ami… a sequel, doesn't seem like my muse is finished with them yet, is she?


	3. I'm Doing Fine

**_I'm Doing Fine_**

By Yanagi-sen

WK songfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Follows the songfic In Need, this is turning into a series, ne?  This song is by Dan Hill and called "I'm Doing Fine".  The songs and characters don't belong to me; you've heard all this before…

Warning: angst, smut… 

****

**_I see you when you think no one sees._**

**_I feel you (so close) every time you breathe._**

**_I need you more than I needed anyone, it's true._**

**_I wanna make love to you._**

It was getting harder to ignore, the incessant urgings of his body that wanted to lay the young man on his bed, kiss him into submission, then make wild, passionate love till dawn.  He ruthlessly shoved those feelings back down; unfortunately his lower extremities thought those feelings were very exciting and reacted accordingly.

Cranky, he was definitely cranky he decided, as he got up to take a cold shower, for the third time this week.  Nagi had been home for nearly a week now, and Brad thought he was going to go insane.  Thankfully, the young man seemed unaware of the American's 'problem'.  It had taken the brunette a few days to get switched around to the new time zone and unpack.  Yesterday, Schu and Farf had taken him out shopping for things he needed since the rest of his stuff wouldn't arrive via the postal service for another month at least.

He shivered in the shower, and turned the water temperature to a more acceptable level.  He ran through his morning routine quickly, needing to get to that all important first cup of coffee before Farf decided to drain the pot.  Getting dressed, he forced any thoughts of Nagi and his bed deep into his mind, where Schu hopefully wouldn't pick up on them.

**_Walking down some crowded street,_**

**_Your laughter (so pure) sounds like a symphony._**

**_Desire sweeps through me tryin' to stay cool, it's true._**

**_I wanna make love to you. Wanna make love to you._**

They were wandering through the crowded streets of Akihabara, replacing Nagi's computer that he had sold rather than try to ship back to Japan, with the exception of his hard drives, which had gone in his carry on.  The young man couldn't be satisfied with something off the shelf, and so was scouring the small shops and crowded aisles for the individual components he wanted.  In some ways it was like watching a child in a candy store, the way the young man grinned at bins of electronics.  It was something of a scavenger hunt and Nagi enlisted Brad's aid, even though the American had no idea what some of these items even were.

It didn't help that he was distracted by the brunette at every turn.  The way he moved, the way he smiled, the light sound of his laughter at the antics of a couple of kids on the street… everything drew Brad's attention.  He thanked whatever gods were out there that Schuldich wasn't with them, to pick up on his distinctly lascivious thoughts, because he was positive his shields weren't enough to contain these feelings.  Especially when Nagi laughed.

Laughter hadn't been something they had heard from him when the telekinetic had been a child.  The boy showed very little emotion, beyond annoyance, anger, and bitterness.  To hear him laugh now… was magical.

And maddening.

**_And it feels like we've waited so long_**

**_Just to see what we really feel._**

**_Girl, with you by my side,_**

**_My world comes alive._**

Dinner was a private affair for them.  Schuldich had a job taking pictures for a wedding and Farf had gone along for company.  Nagi was animated, talking eagerly about what he'd bought that day and how he was going to assemble his new 'super' computer.  Brad had no doubt that some of the things this machine would be capable of were highly illegal.  But he didn't care, it was nice to see the young man so excited and… well, happy.

After eating they settled in the living room.  Nagi was happily checking over his purchases and Brad was watching the news.  Well, he was pretending to watch the news… actually he was watching the brunette.

Eventually the young man joined him on the couch, not able to really get going on assembling the computer till the next day.  The American watched him out of the corner of his eye.  Something stirred inside him… something he just couldn't deny any longer.  It was wrong… he knew it was wrong, but…

"Brad?"  Nagi had caught him staring; a look of uncertainty crossed the young man's face.  "Is something wrong?"

"N… no… ah… I just…"  Giving up, he leaned closer and kissed the brunette.

**_You whisper (so soft) something I can't repeat._**

**_Your skin brushes close, touches mine so innocently._**

**_The sun burns hot, need some relief, it's true._**

**_I wanna make love to you (you're so close)._**

**_Wanna make love to you (wanna be a part of you)._**

Fingers fly over the buttons, and then spread the shirt wide to expose the pale flesh of Nagi's chest.  The young man moans as lips follow paths made by fingertips over his skin.  The brunette arches into the touch, his hands buried in the American's hair, holding him close.  He reacquaints himself with the slender column of Nagi's neck, finding the sensitive spots with the ease of a long-time lover.  The years apart hadn't diminished his memory at all.

A hand slid between them, popping the snap on the young man's jeans, then worming inside.  He cupped the growing hardness, rubbing at Nagi's member through his underwear.  Silk boxers… of course, the telekinetic had always favored them.  Nagi moaned, his own hands trying to get the American's shirt undone.  When Brad lowered himself, the brunette latched onto his mouth, kissing him needily.  Tongues twined and dueled, lips feasting hungrily; till the need for air forced them apart.

This was… this was wrong… but… he, they, couldn't stop.  Not tonight.  But it couldn't be here.  With a groan, Brad managed to pull himself away from the young man, smiling at the little mewl of discontent Nagi made.  "My room."  The brunette nodded and stood, a little unsteadily.  They made their way to the American's bedroom, hands impatiently pulling at clothing.

**_And it feels like I've waited a lifetime_**

**_Just to tell you what's on my mind._**

**_It's so hard to reveal_**

**_All the passion I feel._**

Pale skin against the dark silk sheets.  Brad laid Nagi out on the bed after removing the young man's clothing.  He tugged off his own garments and then joined the telekinetic on the bed.  The only light was what filtered in through the window, painting everything in shades of gray and blue.  Brad ran his hand over the young man's body, relishing the responses to his touch.  Not content with that, Nagi turned the tables and caught him in a passionate kiss.

The American rolled onto his back, pulling the brunette over on top of him.  Always before it had been him in control, he wondered how far Nagi would go.  The young man, always adaptable, straddled him, their erections rubbing enticingly against one another.  He lay back and let the telekinetic explore as he would, kissing when asked, touching when needed, driving them both beyond the point of stopping.  He waited till the young man begged him… pleading for Brad to take him, before fumbling in the drawer for what they needed.  Then rolled Nagi over and prepared to make love to him.

**_I wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love, oh.)_**

**_Wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love to you.)_**

**_Wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love.)_**

**_(Let me hold you till you're a part of me.)_**

*regretfully… this section had to be removed so people with nothing better to do with their time then report infractions wouldn't get my fic removed for citrusy elements*

**_I wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love.)_**

**_(Till you're in ecstasy)_**

**_Wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love to you.)_**

**_(Your eyes are so soft and sweet.)_**

The young man whimpered, eyes closing briefly.  They were so close… but he wanted to make it longer… make it last… drive them both to the edge of insanity before giving in.  He was tormenting Nagi, slowing the pace, and keeping them on the edge.

"Brad… Brad, please!"

**_Wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love.)_**

**_(Let me hold you till you're a part of me.)_**

*also censored

Carefully, he pulled out and collapsed next to the telekinetic.  Both of them were breathless, trying to get enough air into their lungs.  Nagi lay there beside him, limply.  His head turned and he gifted Brad with the sweetest expression before kissing him, then curling up against his side.

Brad lay there for a while, before carefully rising to take care of the clean up.  The young man woke briefly, enough to accept the damp cloth, and then curled back up against him when the American returned to the bed.  He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep.  But the warmth of the brunette beside him, the softness of his breath on his chest… lulled him to rest.

Tomorrow would take care of itself.

**_I wanna make love to you. (I just wanna make love.)_**

AN: You can all thank Andrea Readwolf for badgering me about this.  No… it's not the end, just a nice citrusy interlude.  ^___^  And if you want the two sections that had to be removed (because too many parents regard the internet as a babysitter), you can find it on my website.


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